


Dave ==> Get a boyfriend for your birthday

by kstrumpets



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Fluff, Humanstuck, M/M, birthday confessions, birthday kisses, but it might be subtle enough to not catch it, dorks being dorks, there's the smallest hint of Rosemary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-06
Updated: 2013-12-06
Packaged: 2018-01-03 16:27:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1072656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kstrumpets/pseuds/kstrumpets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Dave's 15th birthday, and John has a specific present in mind on what to give him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dave ==> Get a boyfriend for your birthday

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is late for when Dave’s birthday actually was, but I also got the fanfic idea _on_ the day rather than before.  
>  Okay, it's also a way that I snuck in a couple of headcanons that I got recently and I don't know how (which you'll likely catch, but idk).  
> This also ended up an accidental beginner to a three-part thing (all based on John giving really cheesy and romantic birthday presents, and it ended up this little miniature story? 15th, 18th, and 21st. I swear I didn't mean to have a three year span. Okay, maybe I did, but not at first)?  
> This is also my first work posted here on AO3, so keep an eye out for more things (hopefully).  
> (my tumblr is [kstrumpets](http://kstrumpets.tumblr.com) if you have any questions, want to give prompts, or just want to say hi!)

**== > Be the dude with the birthday.**

Your name is Dave Strider, and today is your fifteenth birthday.

Despite you being the coolkid at school, you aren't doing much except invite your friends over to your apartment for a miniature party. It’s nothing too big. Besides, you don’t want to hang out with anyone except your bros, anyway — John, Rose, Jade, and Kanaya (though you’re only inviting her because Rose psycho-tricked you into it or something. Jeez, lesbians are batshit crazy. Yeah, she's cool and all, but still).

Okay, the party isn’t technically _just_ for you — Jade’s birthday was two days ago, and Rose’s is tomorrow. Still, you like to pretend that it's for you and you alone. It makes things more fun since you're the coolest of the group.

You managed to talk Bro into putting swords and smuppets away while your friends are over, but he promised to put them right back "where they go" once they leave. Of course, according to him, that doesn’t include John leaving, since he’s spending the night (and he’s been over enough that he’s gotten used to the usual, anyway, you note mentally). You don’t care anymore; you’re just glad it’s finally Friday (and your birthday, too, of course).

Going back to the topic of the party, you’re waiting for everyone to show up. John is already over, babbling his head off about a movie. You’re partially listening, occasionally cutting in with teasing jibes. Then John starts to talk about a different movie, and you have to cut in to say that you didn’t see it.

“Really, Dave? You can’t tell me that you never saw _How to Train Your Dragon_. I bet it’s a movie you would actually like!”

"With your choice of movies, I doubt that."

"Shut up, my movies aren't that bad." He rolls his eyes, probably without actual annoyance.

"Still doubt it."

"No, really!" John basically whines. He even takes it as far as to pout at you, and shit, that's pretty convincing (and you are _so_ not thinking it’s cute in his usual dorky way, nope).

“Tell you what, I’ll let you force me to watch that movie if you don’t bring up Nic Cage for the whole time that everyone else is here,” you challenge, crossing your arms. You know that you’ll win, one way or another. “That includes any movies he’s in.”

John immediately grins widely. “I promise I'm not just choosing a random movie, and I actually thought about what you like. I really think that movie is something you’ll enjoy. I even brought it with me! So fine, you’re on. I won’t say a word about Nic Cage.”

You almost fall over. John had to be really serious about this if he gives up _Nic fucking Cage_ for the sake of getting you to see a movie.

You open your mouth to say something more, but there’s knocking on the door. You go answer it, and it’s everyone you invited. You figure they carpooled as you let them in after a stupid, ironic greeting, and you feel satisfied at the amused responses that came from the girls.

When you walk back into the family room, you look at John with a smirk and a raised eyebrow, silently telling him, ‘I’d like to see you try to not say a single word about Nic Cage,’ which is also known as, ‘I’m going to make it so fucking difficult for you to succeed.’

\-------------

**== > Be John.**

You’re now John Egbert, and you are currently glaring pretty damn fiercely at your best friend.

When you accepted the challenge to not say a single word about Nic Cage or his movies during the party, you should have guessed Dave would start being an asshole and try to make you lose in multiple ways regarding talking about movies that make you think about Cage’s films. You’re already trying hard enough to keep quiet; you’re determined to get Dave to watch _How to Train Your Dragon_ , dammit!

Either way, you can tell that Dave is feeling really smug simply by the faint smirk that is just barely there as he talks to Jade about a movie that you missed the name of (but it reminds you of Ghost Rider, which you bite back a comment about), but you can see it plainly. It’s not because you’re staring at his lips! Well, okay, fine, with what took you hours to convince yourself to do for Dave later today (at least, side-present, since you got him a pair of headphones, Beats Mixr), you decide to stop denying involuntary habits like that.

Once you realize that your train of thought has changed completely and that you’re successful at trying to distract yourself from what Dave’s trying to do, you slightly turn away from the culprit and find Rose looking at you with a curious, yet knowing look. You’ve known her since first grade (when your whole quad of you, Rose, Dave, and Jade met and became the group you are), yet you still don’t understand how she’s able to be curious about something and keep acting like she knows exactly what you’re thinking at the same time.

Okay, she probably has an idea of what you're thinking about, since you consulted her when you started making your plan. It was a long and conflicted decision, and you decided to ask Rose for advice, which you got. She’s a huge reason you gave in to your internal conflict — really, how is she able to convince someone to do something so easily? — since she encouraged you. Despite all that, you still want to know what’s lurking in Rose's mind.

“...Hi, Rose,” you greet, knowing she’ll immediately start investigating.

“Hello, John. How are you doing?” Rose flicks her eyes behind you — towards Dave, you realize — and you know exactly what she’s about to say, so you don’t answer her question yet. Instead, you think about how you're grateful that she is always careful when she does in-person analyzing. “Are you still doing what you consulted me about on Wednesday?”

You couldn't help but let out a single huff of amusement. “How did I know you'd bring that up? ...But yeah, I am. It's gonna be later. I'm still worried, though...”

“John, I told you — it'll be fine. I doubt anything you're stressing about will happen.” You thought you heard a hint of something strangely like knowingness, but you didn't bother asking about it. You were still slightly worrying about not just the negative results, too, though. You're just overall nervous.

First of all, what you and Rose are talking about — what you're planning to do — is, well, a confession. You've been in love with Dave since eighth grade, so it's been nearly three years.

You hadn’t realized it until Dave dated Terezi last year, and one time you were complaining to Rose about it, a few days since you found out about their relationship, she had asked if you were jealous. After a week of denial, you realized she was right, then you took about a month to figure out your feelings for him, and that was based on how _relieved_ you were when they broke up.

“John?” You’re snapped out of your memories and blink confusedly at Dave, who apparently walked over while you were lost in your thoughts.

“Huh? Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts, apparently. What?”

“Yeah, no kidding. Anyway, I was going to tell you that Bro’s back with the pizza, so we can eat.”

You push away any remains of your memories lingering. “Good, ‘cause I’m really fucking hungry.”

\-------------

It’s a few hours later, and the girls are getting ready to leave. Your nerves start to come back as soon as it registers yet again that you’re going to confess to Dave before you watch the movie (which you get to make him watch because you didn’t say one word, even with Dave going as far as to prompt a conversation about shitty movies and you stopped him without saying anything). Rose’s encouragement earlier is helping you not stress as bad as you think you would, but there’s still the worry.

“Kanaya, my mother is sending me numerous drunken texts. I believe it’s about time to go, since you are Jade’s ride as well as mine.” You hold back a giggle at the thought of what type of texts are being sent to Rose.

“That is fine. We may leave whenever Jade is ready.”

As soon as Kanaya replies, Jade comes back from the bathroom. “I heard you, and we can go! I don’t want to leave these two waiting too long for us girls to leave so they can have their silly ‘boys only’ fun. Ya know, to do ‘guy things.’” You see her wink at Dave, and he raises an eyebrow, probably in incredulity, which resulted in her giggling. You wonder what that’s about, since you didn't tell Jade about your plan.

Rose gets up and walks over to you, and before you can say anything, she assures you that later will be fine before she goes back to Kanaya, who was saying a last thing to Dave before she turned away to smile at Rose with a bit of a... _suspicious_ look. You wonder if she has a _specific_ birthday present in mind for Rose.

After the girls leave, you turn to Dave with a large grin. "I didn't say one word."

You could tell Dave rolls his eyes by how he moves his head with the motion, but he also had a smirk— no, you realize, it's a faint _smile_ , and even though it's in amusement, you still feel your heart skip a beat just from how rare it is for Dave to smile, and it's amazing, too.

"I have to give it to ya — I thought you would give in easily. You're determined, aren't you?"

"No, I made the effort to do the challenge for fun," you answer, rolling your eyes. "I told you I really want you to see it."

Dave chuckles lightly. "Smooth. Where is the movie, then, since you apparently brought it?"

"In your room with the rest of my stuff."

It hits that you're going to be following through with your plan within the next five minutes or so, and you take a breath to hide that you're once again starting to get nervous.

"C'mon, then. I'll humor you and watch it with you. I can even include ironic cuddles." Dave doesn't wait for you before he walks to his room, and you follow, only thinking about that last sentence he said.

Either it won't happen at all, regardless of irony, or it'll be "unironic," in his language.

\-------------

==> Be the coolkid who is the master of hiding feelings.

You're Dave again, and you're sure as fuck a coolkid, but you don't think you're as good at hiding feelings as you'd like.

Still, it's enough that John probably doesn't have a single clue that you're conflicted. You don't know whether or not you should tell him a very important thing: you've fucking fallen for him.

You didn't realize it until last year, when you dated Terezi and figured out that you felt like you were being insincere with the whole relationship shit and you were treating her more of a friend than a girlfriend, then you realized you were thinking about doing those things with John more than anyone. After a good feelings jam with both Rose and Jade, you figured it out.

So, now, you're debating whether or not to tell him. After you walk into your room and sit on your bed, John following shortly, you make a decision. Not necessarily the decision, but it works.

"Yo, Egbert, c'mere first. I wanna show ya somethin' before we whip out the movie and get all engaged 'n' shit." You realize too late that your Texas is showing, and he probably notices since he raises an eyebrow.

To your relief, John doesn't say anything, and instead walked over to sit next to you. He looks at you, and if you didn't know better, you'd think that there's a hint of nervousness in his gaze.

"That's fine. I kinda have a last birthday thing for you left, anyway. I can do it now."

You're curious now. "You do?"

Immediately, you're told to do your thing first, and you watch as John presses his lips together, over his overbite and those messy teeth that not even the braces he had in fifth to eighth grade could fix. (You'd never admit it, but you think that his teeth makes him look even better.)

"Well, I mean, I could just do my thing now, but I want to know what exactly you're showing me, and actually I could probably start getting onto the topic now while you get what yo—" John cuts himself off when you take off your shades and hook them on your shirt, and he gapes. "Well, hello, eyes."

You snort. "You're acting like I don't have 'em."

He opens his mouth to protest, then closes it again, then opens it once more. "With how often you wear those stupid things–"

"All the time?"

"—I had began to wonder. And that is exactly my point. What, am I the first person you've shown your eyes to?" You nod once. "Wait, seriously? Holy shit. Anyway, god DAMN, I totally get why you wear those shades so much now. I mean, not in any bad way or anything, because I definitely like them. Plus, they suit you so well, and... they are really pretty, okay?"

You raise an eyebrow, ignoring the jump in your stomach and speeding up of your heart. "Gay," you tease.

You think you see John pause for a second. "Yeah, actually."

You eyebrows nearly fly to your hairline. "Wait, what?"

"Uh, so, I guess I can do the thing now. At least I didn't have to bring up the topic myself" — You're wondering if you're hearing things now, or if you got knocked out during the party — "so that makes it easier, I guess, and shit, I barely know how to put when I originally planned this, and—"

"John, you're losing the ability to make sense." You sound impatient, but really, it's more like you're flipping the fuck out because this seriously sounds like—

"Okay, okay." He takes a breath. Then another one. "I love you."

You blink, then take about five seconds to start flipping some serious shit. _Holy fuck, did I just hear what I thought I heard? Or I'm fucking dreaming or some shit. If I am, never wake me up or I will kill whoever does._

"You...you do?" you drawl, feeling your heart pounding. John nods sheepishly. You take about ten seconds before you let out a breath in a sigh of relief. "Holy shit, I guess that fixes that."

John looks a bit less nerve-wrecked, probably from the sigh of relief from you, though he also looks confused. "Fixes what?"

You look him in the eye — holy _fuck_ , you've never realized how damn _blue_ they are — and answer his question a lot more calmly than you expect. "Well, let's just say that I was just debating whether or not to tell you that, fuck, I love you, and I guess the answer's, no, I don't 'cause you fucking beat me to it, and holy shit, this is surreal. Is this actually happening."

You watch his expression goes from what it was, to disbelief, and stops at relief and a grin growing on his face before he replies, "First, you just told me, you dork, so you just contradicted yourself. Second, it better be fucking happening, 'cause this was hard enough to do the first time."

You chuckle, feeling a smile start to form. You don't care at all; you're too fucking happy. "Either way, better than those headphones you got me. A little."

John rolls his eyes. "Shut up."

You just smirk at him. "Make me." You're not ashamed at all to admit that you are basically telling John to kiss you.

He does, albeit a little sloppily. You take a second before you kiss back and lean a bit more toward John. Your heart is fluttering wildly in your chest, and you're loving every second of this. It might not be very much, and when either of you try to make it a bit more of a passionate kiss, there's often occasional clunking or banging that stops you both, but you still love it because you're kissing _John_ , dammit!

After John pulls back after a while, he he has a smile and a blush dusting his cheeks. "As much as I enjoyed that, I'm still making you watch _How to Train Your Dragon_."

You decide you might as well; you figured giving John a chance with what he's so determined to get you to watch won't hurt anything.

You end up enjoying the movie, and you have a really smug new boyfriend, who you kiss to shut up.

"By the way, thanks for the great birthday present. Cheesy as fuck, but still works for me."

It's now John's turn to kiss you to shut up (like before).


End file.
